May 12th, 2013 (Mothers Day & Wedding Anniversary)

May 12th, 2013

As I sit here writing this today I cannot help but think how blessed I am. Today (well in 5 minutes or so) is not only my 6th wedding anniversary with my husband but it is also Mothers Day. Having so much to say on both topics I figure I might need to write it tonight as tomorrow will be quite busy!

 

First, lets start with mothers day (since she is a main reason I have anything at all to talk about)... My mother has always been there for me, thru the hard and the good. See, we moved allot and our family was very close knit because of that, my mom and I became best friends growing up. Now I wont say we didn't have differences ever but we have and still do have an amazing relationship. She and my dad raised us in church, she prayed with and for us and always stands by us. She is an amazing woman and I am blessed to know her and to have her as MY momma. That being said, she also taught me how to be a mother, and being a mother is the most amazing experience and blessing in this world. Motherhood is a true miracle and I pray for those I know who are struggling with a desire to begin this journey and for whatever reason cannot. Around about 3 years ago I experienced the most unbelievable pain, we lost our first child due to miscarriage. Never would I wish this pain on anyone, it hurts in a way I cannot describe. We were so excited to have a baby, and then we didn't, it broke our hearts in ways we still cannot completely repair, nor will we. And speaking of mothers day, that first one after losing a baby by miscarriage is painful, akward and more difficult than I could say. It is hard for those around you not knowing what to say and hard for you missing your child. Afterwards it took some time to heal (what parts could heal that is) and with Gods help we began trying again, after 3 months we found out we were expecting yet again. Our daughter, Annabelle, came that November bringing another heaping amount of emotion and love that is growing still today. She has the absolute sweetest personality and at 2.5 years old she will talk, ask you how you are, say "I miss you, love you" without being directed to and even today she sang Happy Birthday to "aunt Kayla" on the phone. Being her mother makes me so proud, she is my little helper I tell people all the time, she will try her best to help people with whatever they are doing, she cleans her room without being asked and loves to do any craft or project for anyone she can. She is our daughter and is absolutely amazing. Next came our son, only a little over 12 months after our daughter we were blessed yet again with a tiny miracle. And yes, I mean tiny... He was 4lb 13oz and 2months premature, after a long 12 weeks of bed rest and countless trips to l&d for premature labor and shots, magnesium, the whole 9 yards to stop it he finally showed up early anyways. With that I must add that I started premature labor at 19 weeks and he was only 2 months preemie when he was born so if that does it tell you what a miracle he is I don't know what would. After he was born I experienced something I never thought I would... I didn't WANT to leave the hospital, I knew when I did he wasn't coming home with me, at least for some time. Leaving your child hooked up to monitors everywhere you can see them and in the care of people (tho highly trained) you have never met before, that is a whole other kind of hard. After walking out of the hospital my husband went to get the truck, I sat on the bench just bawling, how could I leave? He needed me, after all, I am his mom! It took some getting used to and more tears than I know shed over leaving him there but he had to stay, to grow & strengthen, and that he did. Even through Christmas which is my favorite holiday and that made it even harder, we wanted our family together and my daughter was not allowed in the NICU and didn't even meet him until a few weeks old. After a month tho he was doing amazing and was released. The next day, I began life full throttle as a mom of 2 little ones, and I would never change a thing. Our son, Cayden, is a bright eyed little toddler now who is getting so big they he will probably pass his sister soon on size (and she is considered average) and he has more strength than we ever could have imagined and more personality than ever. Also a little helper and such a sweet spirited little boy. My children are miracles, and if you have one either on earth or in heaven, yours are too! Being a mother is and always will be an amazing blessing and responsibility that God has given me and I am forever grateful! No one promised motherhood (or the journey to it) would be easy at all times but it is most definitely the most blessed, meaningful, miracle of a road you will ever travel. Happy Mothers Day to all the mom's out there!

 

And next, I cannot forget today as my anniversary. May 12th marks 6 years I have been married to the most amazing, christian, loving man! And on May 15th it will mark 9 years since we started dating. Today I not only get the honor of seeing him as MY husband but I also get to see him as a father to our 2 wonderful children. Seeing him laugh and play, pray and read and just be 'dad' to them makes me even more proud to be his wife. Loving him comes natural to me, and being his is an amazing blessing and honor. I Love You Charles 'Wally'!

Nap time and toddlers

After the last couple weeks I've been researching naps in toddlers, I mean my daughter has always been a great napper but lately she just wont have it. She doesn't fuss, cry, or even get mad that I lay her down, as a matter of fact it is the opposite she asks to and says she is tired but just sits in her bed and plays. This had me torn, was she ready to stop napping or should I keep encouraging them despite the not sleeping.

Since this has been on my plate of the "everyday mother" tasks lately I thought I'd share my thoughts and research in hopes to help some of you with your non-napper.

While doing some research I found this Web MD guide to napping for toddlers and it has many great points. Some I found even more so encouraging was the "You can't force anyone to take a nap, but you can create the environment for sleep," especially with my daughter seemingly easing out of a nap lately this was nice to see. 

As I mentioned before, she lately just wont seem to sleep. BUT, a major point I want to bring out is probably what is most important in this post. See I noticed her not sleeping but if I don't lay her down she is cranky by the evening. She is 29mo old and having a 1 year old son who is on a 2-3 hour nap each afternoon from 2:30-5 or 5:30 I REALLY enjoy their naps which has been for several months now same time, around the same length give or take a little. It gives me cleaning time, dinner prep time or my favorite... my own personal chill time. YAY! Now, you may laugh or think it's silly but if you are a stay at home mommy as well you know that this time can be crucial to your own well being and sanity. Without a doubt being a mom is the most amazing, rewarding, blessed job I have ever had and ever wish to have. You just can't get any better than this. So all of that brings me back to the major part o this blog, if your toddler all of the sudden stops taking a nap, staying in the routine since they are used to the laying down portion is good. Giving them the regular routine and letting them maybe have a few toys that you feel safe leaving in the bed with them (i.e. stuffed animals without the marble eyes, soft books etc.) and let them lay and play quietly.  

This next article is also one I found helpful. This quote ""If your child is refusing to nap because she says she's not sleepy, make sure she still gets some quiet time," says Claire Lerner, L.C.S.W., a child-development specialist at Zero To Three, a Washington, D.C., organization that promotes the health and welfare of young children." is something that helped me make the decision to continue the "quiet time" with my Annabelle. Also, to my surprise when I leave her in there despite her being awake and playing (all quietly) she will eventually fall asleep and get a short nap. With this quiet time I have noticed some great improvements, she gets her rest even though she isn't sleeping the entire time, if any, and I still get some down time as well. Allowing her to have that time she is happy and her normal bubbly self in the evenings even though she isn't napping like she used to. 

All children are different, and many toddlers are so incredibly adamant on NOT napping or sleeping, I have been quite blessed to never have a huge problem with this. Aside from the original getting over the letting her cry it out sleeping in her own room that I had a harder time with than her, she has been great at night and naps. My son does wonderful as well. That being said, I am not naive enough to think that going on 3 years old the naps aren't soon going to become a thing of the past for her, but in my opinion the rest she gets from having down time and quiet time in her room with a few baby dolls and soft books is the perfect transition from her every day naps to the big girl she is becoming.  

Never think your tot isn't a normal child if they are ready to not nap sooner than others, just make sure they are ready and not just resistant. Our schedule is our schedule, it works great both because of our daily routine and my sons sleep habits as well but that doesn't mean that it will be your schedule. When you decide what is right for you and your little one I hope these articles and this post that helped me in some decision making will also help you either as the knowledge they provide or reassurance to what you already considered. Just remember, if your toddler is starting to not sleep as much as they had for naps, the quiet time is a great transition and help into easing them into going the whole day without sleep and you may be surprised at their drifting off to sleep anyhow.

Enjoy your little one, the little things they do even when they drive you crazy, the time and days go so fast. These are the moments to hold onto in your hearts forever!

My little angel pretend napping while we were playing in her room.